Lollipoppers
by Mitzi
Summary: Mamoru struggles with Usagi and her favorite candy (maybe slightly over-rated, but I didn't want to take any chances))


Lollipoppers  
by Mitzi  
email: mitzifitz@yahoo.com  
  
Heylo! I was in a funky mood, induced by too much Fuddruckers' fries and   
Starbucks JavaChip icey-creamish stuff, and I decided to whip up a strange, overly-  
sexual shortie on the perils of being Chiba Mamoru. I hope I succeeded in writing   
something reasonably sweet and humorous, and that nobody objects to the   
wildhotwetmonkeying that is sure to go on it somewhere…Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, *whimper*, own Sailor Moon or any related   
characters or situations. Waaaiiiilllll….  
BloPops are a registered trademark of Charm.  
  
***  
  
The silence was deafening.  
  
That oxymoronic (AN: My word! Mine!) saying was all Chiba Mamoru could hear,   
  
whispering and yelling over and over and over again in his poor, assaulted ears. Which,   
  
for the record, were already starting to glow a lovely pink with his valiant efforts to retain   
  
his self-control, and keep the ready embarrassment well at bay.  
  
He glanced up at his darling, his beloved, his reason for living; a beautiful young  
  
woman by the name of Tsukino Usagi, Usako to him and none other. A beautiful young   
  
woman with spun gold for hair, spun sugar-like sweetness, and just plain spunk. A   
  
beautiful young woman who belonged solely to him in all her loving, lovable, wonderful   
  
golden entirety. A beautiful young woman who was currently, albeit unknowingly,   
  
making his life a living, fiery Hell. Mamoru's stormy, sea god eyes held a look of   
  
dismay, and distraught horror as his precious Usako continued her brilliant campaign of   
  
ruining his day.  
  
  
SMACK.  
  
  
Tsukino Usagi abruptly pulled the glistening, pink ball of candy on a stick she had  
  
been enthusiastically working over out of her small, pink mouth, taking care to drag her   
  
cat-like tongue over it from base to top. Slowly licking her pouty lips to catch the last   
  
remnants of flavor, she smiled, took a dainty sip of water, and proceeded to pop the thing   
  
back in her mouth.  
  
Mamoru bit his lip, and crossed his eyes in the effort to not look down her loose,   
  
pink top as Usagi leaned forward, frowning, to read the tiny print of her science textbook.   
  
He KNEW he should never have agreed to study with her. Mamoru, his Usako, and a   
  
long, Saturday afternoon never failed to entice him to throw dignity, and study habits, out   
  
the window and set in for a heavenly make-out session on his living room couch. He   
  
sighed, and bent his head to his own reading.  
  
The words instantly blurred as he heard Usagi making small, almost-purring   
  
sounds of sticky enjoyment as she licked at the giant strawberry lollipop. Mamoru's eyes   
  
widened to record-breaking proportions, then squinched shut, but his head remained bent.   
  
So much in fact, that it was at a perfect, ninety-degree angle from the rest of him.  
  
Usagi pulled the candy from her mouth again; with as much pleasure as the last 47 times   
  
she had done it.  
  
Mamoru's eyes flew open, and he inwardly bashed his head against a wall.   
  
Getting up and walking away, which had been a highly-entertained option, crashed and   
  
burned as he mentally measured the size of his erection as his eyes took in the sight of a   
  
hugely embarrassing, and very telling, bulge in his jeans. The infamous little angel and   
  
devil duo made their appearance on Mamoru's shoulders as he sweated quietly in mute,   
  
sexual frustration.  
'Mamoru! Bad boy! Down, you randy, irresponsible monster! How can you   
  
  
even think about getting in her pants? You know she has a huge science test coming up,   
  
and you are supposed to be providing a nice, quiet, CALM atmosphere for her to study   
  
in!'  
  
The angel was standing up, and screaming in his ear, when he was abruptly cut   
  
off by the devilish looking devil (AN: hee hee).  
'Aw, c'mon, what's the big deal here? Think of how much a good shag would   
  
relax her. And hey! It's a free biology lesson.'  
  
'You base, primitive, over-sexed-'  
  
'Under-sexed, at the moment.'  
  
'-Creature! No sex! No blow jobs, no feeling ups, no nothing!'  
  
'Mmm…blow jobs. Look, she's even practicing!'  
  
'That was disgusting.'  
  
'Thank you.'  
  
Mamoru blinked, and shook his shaggy black head in a vain effort to clear his   
  
thoughts. The brief argument between his ever-helpful Good-Bad muses had only served   
  
to confuse him more. Sighing, he rolled his shoulders and got back to work.  
  
"Mamo-chan?"  
  
At once the attentive boyfriend, Mamoru's head snapped up at Usagi's sweet,   
  
questioning voice.  
  
"Yes, Usako?"  
  
"What does 'eating out' mean? "  
  
His mental head-against-wall bashing increased its speed and intensity as he   
  
  
realized that a) this was not a question she was studying for, and b) she didn't mean the   
  
restaurant kind of eating out.  
  
"Um…well, uh…it's…something."  
  
"Well, duh! I gathered that much already. The girls and I were talking at the   
  
arcade, and it came up, and so I asked Minako what it meant. They all laughed, 'cept for   
  
Amy who just blushed, and wouldn't say anything more than that we'd probably already   
  
done it."  
  
Mamoru shifted so that his unfortunately stiff genitalia wasn't banging into the   
  
low table with every breath and tried not to hyperventilate.  
  
"Have we?"  
  
His hopes of not hyperventilating were quickly dashed.  
  
"And what does it mean?"  
The little devil was back, chanting a mantra into his ear.  
  
'Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex-'  
  
"Mamo-chan?"  
  
The stress was too much.  
"Yaaaaarrrggghhhh!"  
  
Usagi watched, wide-eyed, as her normally calm and collected boyfriend leapt up,   
  
dashed into the bathroom, and slammed the door. The sounds of a shower being run were   
  
soon heard, and continued for a good ten minutes as Usagi stared at the door in   
  
bemusement.  
  
"Mamo-chan? Are you okay?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
Usagi blinked rapidly several times as a loud string of colorful curses and a   
  
"Well, that didn't work" followed their brief exchange. She blinked again when the door   
  
opened and Mamoru stepped out, fully clothed and dripping wet. The two stared at each   
  
other in silence before Mamoru bent and swept Usagi into his wet, and somewhat chilly,   
  
embrace, and gently crushed her parted lips beneath his own. The kiss was passionate,   
  
hard and fast, soft and slow, and sweet all at once.  
  
"I want you."  
  
He nuzzled up along her neck, dropping kisses and quick tastes all over, before   
  
repeating himself and stopping to gaze into her sky blue eyes.  
  
"I've wanted you since you walked in the door with that damn bag of BloPops at   
  
three o'clock. It's five now, and I can't wait any longer."  
  
He paused to kiss her again, and rub her nose with his own.  
  
"Make love with me?"  
  
"I thought you'd never ask."  
  
With his famous quirky grin, Mamoru easily lifted Usagi off the ground, strolled   
  
into his bedroom with his girlfriend's arms round his neck, and kicked the door close   
  
without a backwards glance.  
  
***  
  
Much, much, MUCH later…  
  
***  
Cuddled up against her Mamo-chan's warm, muscular thigh as he slept, content   
  
and FINALLY satiated, Usagi smiled wickedly to herself.  
  
'Thank Minako for the lollipops, God for sexy, horny boyfriends, and thank Fate   
  
for screwing with the cold water in his shower…'  
  
***  
  
Well? Didja like? Was it confusing, perverted, funny, sweet, good, or bad? Or   
  
something else altogether? I'll never know unless you tell me! Tell me tell me tell me!   
  
Email is your friend. So is the nice little review form. Yes? Yes.  
  
mitzifitz@yahoo.com  
  
Mitzi ^ ~  



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